I, Personally

If I’m going to be completely honest with myself – as I want to be – I’d like to share with you a little secret. At times, I find myself reorienting my thoughts, my wishes, and my goals to realign with my heart. While it’s a rare occurrence, I know that we as humankind often trick ourselves into falling for a persona we’ve built on clouds and pixels.

I have confidence in my upbringing and moral compass to work in conjunction to keep me true to myself. Though I can’t help but sometimes fall victim to the personas that we’ve built. The personas which invite only the highlight reel, and shield from the beauty in the nonconventional.

Yet I’m not convinced that I can even call myself the victim as I’m indulging in an analog pleasure out of my own volition. Nevertheless, I allow myself to invent a construct for my own cursory gratification.

In this persona, we foster a type fronting society. We develop habits and envelop our being, fabricating our sense of reality for others to interact with. Without limitations in this towering social space, we convince ourselves that our original thoughts and interests must be validated by our cyber peers. And we permit ourselves to alter and censor our existence in order to enrapture our audience. Soon enough, we’re engulfed by a counterfeit illusion we know to be true. Our online presence becomes the pilot of our actions, and our mind drives every calculated move.

Within this moment I find myself wholly captivated by online traffic, consumerism, and perfectly filtered content. Yet, within this moment I recognize that I’m not not wholly myself. Within this moment is where I ask myself where my heart lies. How readily I allowed myself to fall a fool for these inauthentic personas. How imprudently I’ve excluded my heart, and rather let obsession and greed expend my time. And so I reorient my thoughts, my wishes, and my goals to realign with my heart.

In truth, I feel indebted to this disruption as it keeps me true to my inner self. By confessing to my fixation, I’m humbled to the marrow of my natural being and reminded of what remains important to me. It’s not the charade I celebritize and decorate. I, personally believe that at the end of the day it’s just God and my heart – no other personas to delude me otherwise.

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Categories: on the realTags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

golbou

I’m a proud alumni of the University of Texas at Austin. Green tea activist. Finance professional. Lover of bright coral nail polish, creative writing, and Spanish architecture. I believe it's important to laugh at yourself and not take everything so seriously. Stargazer? I'm not good at bios. You should probably read my blog.

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