500 words on the quantitative perplexities of life as a twenty year old.
I sometimes feel like we, as human kind, do things just because it follows the pattern. As a college student, that includes waking up, throwing on a t-shirt and some leggings, and hoping I make it to class on time given the fact that I spent 2 extra minutes fixing up an iced coffee in the kitchen. There’s construction on Guadalupe and with the time spent detouring around the rubble, I add on another couple of minutes to my ETA. It feels like every last action is a calculation in a long derivative where I somewhere forgot what the value was that I’ve been solving for.
September and October are the most bustling of months in the business school. I’ve spent more time courting an internship than I have with my friends. My Tuesday/Thursday classes align in that they have exams on the same days, just an hour apart. As I take my first major-selective courses, I reflect more on the future I’ve planned out for myself. In fact, every last hour is assigned a title, my planner becoming more of my right hand than what it simply is.
And there it is again, human-nature. While I’m so occupied, I feel frustrated at why I haven’t had any time to myself. And as I’m typing this, I reflect on how cynical I’ve become at the blessings that have planted themselves in my life. It’s hard to admit. How have I mislabeled all these opportunities as a burden? I’ve made them out to be a part of my routine and standard “next step” that I’ve dictated myself to follow.
As I sit here, I’m listening to beautiful piano ballads and the slight flicker of a wooden wicked candle replace the ambient noise in my room. I’m taking notes off my Chapter 11 PowerPoint, on slide twelve out of forty-eight. I realize how I’ve been viewing my business on a task by task basis, finishing one thing for the sake of it and moving on to the next– constantly looking forward. I’ve spent the latter part of the last two months focusing on the future, too negligent to see what’s in front of me.
All the people I encounter, the “tasks” placed before me, and what may seem like obstacles at the time are exactly the opposite. They’re all part of a bigger picture, all pieces of a puzzle that I’m solving for in life. There’s no pre-written ending, for the ending is defined by the workings of the puzzle, the journey of figuring out what belongs in the right spot and which pieces don’t belong at all.
As you go on with your day, take a step back and ask yourself why you’re doing what you’re doing. Don’t go chasing a diamond as big as the ritz because it appears as though everyone else is doing it. Realize that your path is exactly yours and realize the value and purpose of all that you’re working towards. In time, your exquisite ritz, will follow.