She’s Just Being Miley…

In a land far, far away… Miley Cyrus did this:


And I did this…


Now, Miley, darling,

Hasn’t anyone told you that EYEBROWS ARE EVERYTHING? Listen, I understand that you want to be different and don’t care what society thinks of you. You told us that you’re gonna do your thang, but this. This is too far. Ladies, if we can take at least one positive thing from this escapade, let it be this. Eyebrows can make you, or break you. DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, DYE YOUR EYEBROWS THE SAME COLOUR AS YOUR SKIN. If you can give me one reason as to why you would want to do this in the first place, I’d be damn well surprised. Eyebrows add a level of uniqueness to your face. They’re like fingerprints, but for your face. They’re unique to you. They form your face. They can add dimension. They can take you to your potential. Eyebrows are your friends. Treat them kindly. Don’t neglect them.

So to prove to you how essential they are, I took matters into my own hands and made my own example. I erased my eyebrows (my heart is racing just thinking about it) and took Miley’s new (and definitely not improved) eyebrows and (poorly) Photoshopped them onto my face. I tried my best to match the eyebrows to my skin tone, so here’s that. Note: I’m actually mortified putting this on here. I can’t imagine my face without my eyebrows.

Screen Shot 2013-11-22 at 12.40.43 AM

Now, there, there. The hardest part is over. Open your eyes and shake away the bad dream that is Miley Cyrus’ lack of eyebrows. Someone please take her to Walgreens to pick up a package of hair dye, because this “bleached” look is making her look more like E.T. than iconic. I can’t even look at this picture for too long without feeling the need to scream or cry or call 911 for theft. Treat your eyebrows with love. Trust me, everyone notices. Still not convinced? Okay.


I’ll leave you at that.

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