Don’t rely on others for your happiness.
In the end, no matter how optimistic you are, people will find a way to disappoint you. I’m absolutely not saying you should have a cynical perspective, but you should be able to find happiness within yourself. In the end, you’re the master of your emotions and actions, so it’s up to you to do what makes you happy.
Don’t try to please everyone.
If you try to please everyone, you’re going to spread yourself too thin. When you try to please everyone, it’s easy for others to take advantage of you. Do your best to help others, but when you simply cannot do more, take it slow and prioritize.
Expectations can mislead you.
I cannot stress how many times I’ve had this happen to me, and I’m still learning. When you build expectations, whatever it may be, you’re barricading yourself from reality. And when you have a skewed perspective, you’re ignorant to what’s actually right in front of you. Expectations can often mislead you, making something seem greater, or worse, than it actually is. Take it easy and live in the moment.
Listen to your gut.
I honestly don’t think I’ve learned this lesson a hundred percent yet. It’s happened to me countless times in academics, in life decisions, everywhere. For some odd reason, your gut knows what’s up. It’s your instinct, after all. So try to listen to it when you’re doubting something, it’s most probably right.
Don’t worry about what others say about you.
I have a quote hanging up on the whiteboard on my desk which says: “Don’t worry what people think, they don’t do it often.” A beautiful thing about this quote is that the author is unknown. Something about that gives me chills and makes me think about it deeper. The author of such a beautiful quote is left unknown, so everyone that talks about him, or her, doesn’t really know who they’re talking about. I think the whole thing actually goes full circle, you shouldn’t care what others are saying about you, because it really doesn’t matter. People gossip, lie, cheat, it’s only human nature. So what they say about you, may not be true, but it shouldn’t be enough to even weigh in on your persona. You are greater than the words that are said about you. You build your legacy the way you want people to see you, so what they say about you is non-important. You did your part, human nature naturally does the rest.
Be realistic with yourself.
This goes hand in hand with setting expectations. If you’re not realistic, your vision will be fogged by a fictional perception. Being true to yourself and being honest with yourself is the first step to understanding yourself. Having illusions of reality can trick you to believe the unreal, like a genie in a bottle.
Be confident in yourself first, or you simply won’t ever be.
As I’ve grown older, I’ve learned to love myself. I used to pick on myself for my appearance, or really any petty flaw that I saw. But in the end your flaws are not what define you. People tend to see the bigger picture, not the minuscule imperfections you create about yourself in your mind. The confidence you have in yourself gives off a glowing aura. If you’re not confident in yourself, you won’t seem confident to others. When you’re confident in yourself, you’re exonerate this aura of happiness, stability, and approachability. If you don’t believe in yourself, who will?